RANT: Hw d u spel ths wurd

Over on WEbook.com, there is a project called Daily WTF?, an interactive blogging site where writers from all walks of life and from all four corners of the world let loose their rants, raves, quiet moments and tortures upon the reader.

No one writer expresses herself with more vehemence than Andalib. And it is with her permission that I republish her most recent blog on text-speak and the lack of imaginative use in the English language. Here is her rant in full. Be warned, though: as is befitting Andy’s style, this piece is not for the faint-hearted.

Rant: Hw d u spel ths wurd

Yes, my dear friends, I know that the title of this particular post is – agonizing to look at but, I had to do it!

I simply had to show you what depths we have sunk to.

Facebook, IM, Twitter, MySpace and whatever else is out there is truly, truly, TRULY a pain in the ass! Yes, they are ‘good’ communication tools; yes, they allow us to speak to others half way around the world; yes, it gives us an inside look into the lives of celebrities and we are privy to some amazing info first hand (I just ate an apple and it was so good!) – um, OK, so maybe not the last one but you get the general idea, right?

Having stated all of that, it irks me considerably when I see that shitty IM lingo appear everywhere. Punctuation, grammar, spelling, pronunciation, synonyms and antonyms are all lost when IM is used.

For example:

‘I bought nice shoes, a nice dress, a nice handbag and the price was nice too.’

‘i luv dis gurl lyk so much i dnt no if id liv if she left me’

The English language is SO beautiful.

It’s eloquent, graceful, classy.

Don’t get me wrong, ‘fuck, shit, c*ck, tits, c*nt’ (parental guidance is due here) and other filthy, vulgar words exist (and are occasionally used by yours truly) but I mean, REALLY!!

Nice, nice, nice??!! There are NO words other than NICE??!!

NONE? In the entire fucking DICTIONARY??!!

Come on, man. SERIOUSLY!!

luv, i , gurl??!!

Wht da fuk mn

wht da fuk

Then the students get a low mark for an assignment, test, exam, whatever for writing shit like that and it’s THE TEACHER’S FAULT??!!

How the FUCK do you explain that one?

‘Your son can’t spell worth shit, Mr. & Mrs. Jones.’

‘Excuse me? What did you say?! Our son is forever writing on the Internet! He text messages all his friends and you’re telling us he CAN’T spell?! This is a vendetta! This is a conspiracy against our Timmy! You must be one of those sick teachers who tried to get sexual with our son but he turned you down so now you’re failing him. We’ll go to the school board with this! You’ll see! We have friends in high places who will send your sorry, manipulative, sex addicted ass bouncing!’

Oh! Then you get the little bastards who go homicidal, suicidal, fucking completely NUTS when that happens and end up shooting the whole fucking school to bits!

Jesus!

We (and here I mean Facebook, IM, Twitter, MySpace etc, etc, etc) are causing children (and some adults) to LOSE THE ABILITY TO SPELL!!!

It’s a fucking Greek tragedy. I shit you not.

There was a survey held recently by a bunch of people who went around asking American teenagers if they could name the first five presidents of the USA. They went to public schools, private schools, slums, upper class neighborhoods – every where and you know what they discovered?

97% of them did not know the answer!

They then held the exact same survey in China. They asked the same question, the same neighborhood situations, the same schools – everything and you know what they discovered?

100% of them knew the answer!

It breaks my heart to know that these little fuckers who write ‘Hw d u spel ths wurd’ and ‘nice, nice, nice’ will one day be our country’s leaders.

Oh the shame.

*#*

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15 responses to “RANT: Hw d u spel ths wurd

  1. Thanks for sharing that excellent rant, Shane…

  2. Well said, very nice post ;p

  3. Perfect post! Glad you shared, Shane I’ve been known to publish a rant or two myself. I’m Paula_Beatrix in WEbook. I’ll look you up as well – unless you are already on my list – there are too many to red everything, but I try to get to everybody at least once a month. So far I’m enjoying the “flash fifction” challenges, in aneffot to try and edit myself more. . .

    Thanks again for a good laugh, and a bit of a heartache, too! English has always been so important to me – it is quite expressive, it’s a shame to waste it! (She needs to do a punctuation rant next!)

  4. That’s “flash fiction.” Ironic, considering this post! 😀

  5. This is a NICE post. It was NICE to read Andi’s NICE rant. Have a NICE day.

    Andi . . . you rock! ; )
    JM . . . you too!
    Allie . . . {{enormous hugs}} but stop eating Jo’s sweets!

  6. Well, here I am, James. I came as soon as I got the link.
    So, I ‘expresses myself with vehemence’, huh?
    Yep! That’s me in a nutshell!!
    And it still pisses me off to think that this shit is going down all the time!!
    It must be stopped! For the love of God, man!

    Thanks for putting this out there James.
    I truly do appreciate it!!

    *#*

  7. One word, James, Andalib: Newspeak.

    Write for freedom, comrades.

  8. Double-plus good.

  9. Andy and James, I must agree with the rant on the point that American schools have gone down the tube and it is our own fault for being too afraid to enforce rules of behavior and the high academic standards we once had in our school systems. But there are a couple of points I would like to make in addition. 1. The phrase “exact same” is one of my pet peeves because it is poor grammar. It is renundant language. The correct use of the phrase is: “exactly the same”, or you could say: “an identical model was used in this survey in China”, etc. The phrase “exact same” is lazy and inaccurate but is becoming the norm through our talking heads and TV and Movie writers who prefer to make all Americans, even highly educated characters use substandard grammar. Point 2.) And I must point out that this is NOT intended as an insult because what Andy wrote, after all, was a RANT, but an articulate writer can say the very same thing she did without using a single vulgarity, which is what Americans are so used to hearing today that they have become inurred to that. At any rate, thank you, Andy for writing this rant. And thank you, James for letting me have the opportunity to read it and rant a little myself.

  10. Pingback: 2010 in review | Aardvarkian Tales

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