It can’t be that hard to order a beer, can it? Well, it is when it’s a Coors. You see, here in Dublin, it’s called anything but Coors. Maybe I’m just dissing on my fellow county folk, but it drives me up the wall to hear the different pronunciations some people use when they order a pint or a bottle of the stuff.
Here are examples of what I mean.
“Can I have a Cures please?” Certainly sir.
It’s what you asked for, though.
“No it wasn’t.”
As a matter of fact, it was.
“Well then, give me a Queuers.”
“Eh, what’s this?”
They’re queuers, sir. People queuing up for stuff, like social welfare payments. People like you.
Sorry. Want to try again?
“Okay. I’ll have a Cores.”
Do you mean this?
Well, you see where I’m coming from, can’t you? I’m a barman not a computer engineer. Dammit Jim!
“I know. All I want is a bloody drink.”
Then ask for one.
“Just give me a Corrs.”
“NO!! I don’t want one of them.”
Listen friend, do you know what a “cute hoor” is?
Precisely. Now say the last word.
Now pluralise it.
Replace the H with a C, and then say that.
There you go, sir, that’ll be four euro please. The elocution lesson is free of charge.
At your service.