Aren’t Weekends great? Don’t you wish you could take Weekends out for dinner, ply them full of wine and then take them home and have your wicked way with them? Weekends are so cool and full of awesome that if an election was held today to find the Supreme Ruler of the Known Universe, Weekends would win by a landslide.
Weekends are when you let your hair and treat yourself to whatever (or whoever) it is that floats your boat. But think about this, people: in order for you to enjoy your weekend, there are those who earn their living so you can trip the light fantastic. So, at the risk of sounding like a party pooper, please respect hard-working bartenders, waiting staff, cinema workers and the bloke who sources your drugs. Without them, your Weekends just wouldn’t be the same.
I’m off to work now. Don’t get too drunk, you hear me?