Category Archives: Musings

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 77. On Male Grooming.

There was a time when all men had to do before heading out was brush their teeth, comb their hair, then splash on a bit of smelly stuff (Brut, Old Spice or whatever your father had in his collection). Nowadays, though, things have become a little more complicated. I blame David Beckham.

Now it’s all about moisturisers and eye cream. Where once I had shaving foam and toothpaste, now I have l’Oreal, Nivea and other products sold to me by advertising. One thing I will say, though, no way do I look 46. May this crap does the job after all.

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 71. On Nice.

Wish You Were Here?

One of my least favourite sayings currently doing the rounds, especially in the bar trade, is “It’s nice to be nice.” Really…is it? Sometimes it’s nicer not to be nice. Sometimes you can get a hell of a lot of satisfaction just by being rude to people who deserve it. Of course, you can turn the other cheek – but why leave yourself open to another assault. It doesn’t make sense.

There is another nice – Nice, in the South of France. If you’re looking for me in the coming week, that’s where you’ll find me, lying on a beach, having fun.

 

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 68. On Lying.

Lies are bad things, right? Honesty is the best policy; the truth will always come out, and lies will always catch up with you. Bear no false witness against your neighbour no matter how many times he leaves his rubbish in your garden.

The truth is, truth has its place. Lies have their places, too. As Dr House would say, “Everybody lies.” I lie, you lie, your government lies (no surprise there). But if we were to be truly moral, lying wouldn’t come into the equation. Not even to save someone’s life.

Too much truth can be dangerous too, though.

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 67. On Juggling.

I watched an episode of House recently and I saw a couple of scenes where the great doctor juggled two balls, then played with a yo-yo.

I’ve always been the fidgety type, hence my need to refresh a web page constantly. Playing with pens, drip mats, coins and toothpicks on a regular basis has led me to believe that I need some sort of mental activity to go with my reflexive activity.

When I stayed in California, my friend Richard attempted to teach me how to juggle. The lesson didn’t last long because our time was cut short by dinner.

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 53. On The Use of Profanities.

Picture a scene: you’ve just stubbed your toe on the leg of your coffee table. A sharp pain shoots right through your body. You jump on to one foot and shout, Oh Golly Gosh! My poor toe!

No? I didn’t think so. I have a foul mouth, ashamed as I am to say it. But while I realise that there is a time and a place for it, I’m pretty liberal with my use of profanities. I make no apologies for it, but please don’t make the mistake of calling me ignorant when I swear. I’m all about freedom of expression.

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 49. On Montaigne.

Michel de Montaigne (1533 – 1592) was a French philosopher – but don’t hold that against him. He lived through turbulent times and survived long enough to gift the world his Essays. Rather than writing material so dry it made the Sahara seem like Hawaii, his engaging personality and writing style endeared him to readers past and present.

He asks us to look at the world through another’s eye. He got this idea from his cat. He wondered, “When I am playing with my cat, how do I know she is not playing with me?”

Once again, maybe cats know more than we do.

 

 

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 48. On Money.

Money makes the world go around but it can’t buy me love. If you want to pass through the gates of Heaven, you’d better be dressed as a camel, because if you’re a rich man, the Big Bouncer will not let you in. Which is very unfair on those people who are rich in both material goods and the spirit of generosity.

If I was a rich man (no singing at the back, please), I’d buy a Lear Jet and a camel suit. Oh and my own publishing house, so my writer friends and could live in the lap of luxury.