Category Archives: Technology

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 89. On Upgrades.

Following on from my post yesterday, I was left in the unfortunate position of having a blank slate of an iPhone. After upgrading to IOS 5, all my music and apps had gone the way of the dodo. What could I do?

With a little help from my friends, (thank you, Ben), I managed to find my back-up files and sync them to my phone. You would’ve thought Apple might have known this would happen and let its customers know. Instead, for ten panic-filled minutes, I was seriously considering becoming a Luddite.

Like it or not, we are slaves to technology.

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 88. On Updates.

So, yesterday evening, after receiving a prompt from my brother, I updated my iPhone 4 with Apple’s new upgrade, the iOS 5. I was promised the very best in 3G widgets and iCloud storage (whatever the hell that is). Great, I thought. Let’s do this.

I followed all the stages, which didn’t take as long as I thought it would, then voila, I had an upgraded phone – minus all the music and apps I had downloaded. Nothing. Gone. Empty.

I cried. At two in the morning I was a broken man, my phone a shadow of its former self. To be continued…

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 80. On Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs 1955 - 2011

I know many people who swear by Apple Macs. Having never owned one myself, this particular pleasure passed me by. But I love my iPhone. Without it, I’m sad to say, my leisure time just wouldn’t be the same. So it was with some distress that I learned last night of the death of Steve Jobs, the man behind one of the most progressive companies the world of business has ever seen. I wish to join the rest of the community in offering my condolences to his family, friends and co-workers. Apple will miss his guiding hand badly. R.I.P., sir.

 

The Five Stages of Facebook Grief.

Anger: For the love of all that is good and holy, why, Facebook, why have you changed things again? Just as I was getting used to how my feed worked, you go and screw around again. That’s it, Zuckerberg, I’m heading over to Google+. Put that in your hashpipe and smoke it.

Denial: It can’t be happening to me – not again. Not after the last time. It took me four months to have my feed feeding the way I want it to feed. I know what to do: I’ll come back later and maybe someone will have fixed it.

Bargaining: Look, if I quit the whole Farmville thing and unhide my hidden friends and pages, will you give me back my old feed? I’ll be a good Facebooker, honest I will.

Depression: Oh no…now I have to go back to Myspace. How will I be able to look my forgotten friends in the eye again. I’m doomed. Someone kill me now 😦

Acceptance: Oh well, it could be worse, I suppose. At least I know I’m not alone. 500,000,000 other users are in the same boat as me. I had better get used to it.

Life changes, people. So does social networking. You may not like it, but you had better get used to it.

Animator vs Animation

A friend emailed this to me today. I think it’s genius.

What happens if you leave your computer running overnight?

Find out here, then let me know what you think.

Also if you find anymore links like this, post them in the comments section of this blog.

The Twelve Steps of Facebookers Anonymous.

STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over Facebook – that our lives had become unmanageable, that timetables had been neglected, that our spouses had walked out on us.

STEP TWO: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to reality – after we’ve come top of our friends’ list at Bejewelled Blitz, that is (no mean feat, let me tell you).

STEP THREE: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our therapists, irrespective of how much they charge per session.

STEP FOUR: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our download history, our apps usage and our poking of friends.

STEP FIVE: Admitted to our therapist, to ourselves, and to our partners (if they aren’t already on Facebook – no private messaging allowed) the exact nature of our download history, our apps usage, our poking of friends – and non-poking of partners and spouses.

STEP SIX: Were entirely ready to have our therapist recommend medication in order to relieve these losses of reality.

STEP SEVEN: Humbly asked our therapist for such medication. And if he wasn’t forthcoming, got down on our knees and begged for our sanity. And if that didn’t work, threaten his family.

STEP EIGHT: Made a list of all persons we had endlessly poked, insulted, invited to join groups that no same person would want to be part of, tagged in embarrassing pictures, unfriended, blocked and hidden. This could take time, so keep a couple of weekends free for this step.

STEP NINE: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, usually in the form of a groveling email or private message, except when to do so would injure them or others. But seeing that most of these people have never even met you, there’s no real need to take this step overly serious. Unless, of course, they know where you live and work – then it’s serious business. Get out the checkbook. I see a lawsuit on the horizon.

STEP TEN: Continued to take personal inventory and when we poked the wrong person at the wrong time, promptly admitted it. This might mean closing down your Mafia Wars and Farmville account; so don’t say you haven’t been warned.

STEP ELEVEN: Sought through referrals from our therapist to improve our conscious contact with the real world, hoping only for the strength to keep away from Starbucks and Wi-Fi.

STEP TWELVE: Having had a rude awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other struggling Facebookers and resolve to Tweet instead.

You know who you are!

With sincere apologies to Bill W. and Dr. Bob – and all members of A.A.

Touched by an iPod!

My new gadget.A number of weeks ago I lost my iPod Shuffle. I had grown rather attached to it. It was my little friend whenever I went for a walk or took a long bus journey. It didn’t cost me a penny; it was a freebie my brother picked up on his travels. A small grey thing that looked like a cigarette lighter, it clipped on my belt buckle like a pager…if I had a pager. It stored up to a hundred songs and allowed me to pick the ones I wanted. I loved it. I was scared of it at first. I had to register it with iTunes, download this, download that, and make coffee while I downloaded. I thought it was going to be real complicated; but in the end it wasn’t. The only problem I had was with the earphones – the kind you stick in your ear. Only they wouldn’t stick in my ears. It seems I have ears nothing can stick in unless it’s wax. But you didn’t want to hear that, did you?

So I bought earphones that go over the ears. Not the kind that make you look like a gangsta mudda from the ‘hood, just a plain old pair of phones that would do exactly what it said on the tin: stay where they were supposed to stay.

But then, as I said at the start, I lost it somewhere. I was disconsolate but I got over it. As you do with these things. But I still had to walk to places and take long bus journeys and it was at these times  that I missed my little grey friend. I was lost, alone and Shuffle-less.

After a period of mourning, lasting at least two months, I decided it was time to move on. So, into HMV I went. When I saw her I fell in love. Her face, her look, her feel had me at “hello.” I parted with some cash, collected an iTunes voucher free of charge and away I went. Then when I got home, the fear returned. She was so sleek, so shiny, so black, I felt she would beat me. And she very nearly did – I couldn’t get her out of her box, for starters. Bloody wrapping! I very nearly took a knife to her, until I saw a sticker that said “peel here.” I felt like a gombeen!

But I bit the bullet, connected her to to my PC and waited to see what happened. Ten minutes later, I’m writing this while Lady Touch is whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I wonder what else she has in store for me.

The Lady Touch.