Tag Archives: Business

The Daily Rant: ON Windfalls.

Imagine you’re cleaning your house or apartment (which is something I do, by the way: I imagine I clean; I rarely do it in real life), when all of a sudden you find some money, money you never knew you had. It’s a substantial wad of cash and it could come in very handy in these times of severe austerity. You’d make use of it, wouldn’t you? Like pay off a few bills and treat yourself to a holiday or other such luxury. In other words, you wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

Due to an accounting error and human error (with the left hand not knowing what the right hand was doing), it appears Ireland isn’t as broke as it was previously thought. We are now richer to the tune of 3.5 billion euro, an amount of money that was found by accident. So what will our government do with this windfall? Wouldn’t it be a wonderful gesture if every tax-paying adult got a little something extra this December in the Budget? Say about €10000 each?

As Eliza Doolittle sang in My Fair Lady, “Wouldn’t this be lovely?”

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100 Words, 100 Days: Day 82. On Showers.

One of the things I miss when I’m away (apart from my bed, that is) is my electric shower. You know the type I mean: flick a switch and water comes out, at the rate you want and, more importantly, at the temperature you want. Too many times I’ve had to wrestle with showers that have lives of their own. You know the sort I mean: water dribbles out at a rate snails would be proud of, and at a temperature that would make volcanoes seethe with envy. Is it too much to ask for a little consistency around here?

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 57. On Economics.

What I know about economics wouldn’t even fill the back of a very small postage stamp. I can’t tell the difference between hedge funds, trust funds, endowment mortgages and debenture schemes. The only thing I know about defaulting is when the time comes to lay the blame.

Default always lies at someone else’s door (if you pardon the pun). Someone with a bit more knowledge than I suggests that there’s a 98% certainty that Greece will not make its loan repayments within five years.

Default lies with those who gave it to them in the first place. Default was never theirs.

 

 

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 45. On Change.

Most of us have a pocket or purse full of loose change, yet we’ll pay for something small, like a bottle of Coke, with a twenty or larger. In this respect, we like change. We like how it rattles and chings in our pocket.

Most of us call for change, whether it’s of government policies or government itself. We demand change in our living circumstances.

But when change affects us directly, we don’t like it. We are averse to having less change that rattles and chings in our pockets and purses.

How does change affect your life? Or does it?

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 39. On Customer Service.

Being a jack-of-all-trades (and to some, a master of none), when a customer was having problems with predictive text on her mobile phone, she passed it on to me to remove it. I happily obliged, then handed it back to her.

“Would you send a text to my husband?” she asked.

“Okay,” I replied. (She’s a bit dotty, if truth be told.) “What would you like me to say?”

“I love you, pet.”

I smiled, punched in the text and added a smiley face for good measure. All in a day’s work, wouldn’t you agree?

Sometimes the job doesn’t suck.

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 21. On Righteous Indignation.

I’m not much of a Biblical scholar, and the concept of hermeneutics passed me by on its way to deeper intellects; but I know a paradox when I hear one. The Bible on one hand suggests taking an eye for an eye, while on the other it proposes turning the other cheek.

Watching footage of the horrendous goings-on in London and elsewhere in Great Britain, the only image that comes to mind is that of the late great Kenny Everett. His character, General Cheeseburger, had a distinctive way of ending his rants.

Let’s round them all up, put them in a field, and then bomb the bastards.

Amen.

100 Words, 100 Days: Day 13. On Reboots

Rise of the Planet of the Apes arrives in our cinemas shortly. It’s yet another attempt by the moneymakers of Hollywood to ingest life and interest in a franchise that was cut dead by Tim Burton’s 2001 reimagining of Charlton Heston’s classic original.

By all accounts it looks alright – but I still think film producers are lazy. I could bemoan the lack of originality and risk-taking in the film industry but it would take a post longer than 100 words to get my point across.

As it stands, I may or may not go see it. What about you? Do you care?